George Carlin Quotes
Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man, living in the sky, who sees everything you do and wants you to follow a special list of things. Ten things, or he'll send you to a place of fire, and smoke, and death, and crying forever and ever. But ... he loves you.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
If you can't beat 'em, arrange to have 'em beaten.
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you!
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it’s really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn’t want you to know.
The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false.
Baseball is the only major sport that looks backwards in a mirror.