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Advice Quotes

  • "Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance."
    By: King George V
    Advice Quotes
  • "Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
    By: Mark Twain (1835-1910)
    Advice Quotes
  • "Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."
    By: Jacob Braude
    Advice Quotes
  • "A dollar saved is a quarter earned."
    By: John Ciardi
    Advice Quotes
  • "A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior.Unless she's really attractive."
    By: Bruce Friedman
    Advice Quotes
  • "Make sure the lubricant is unscented. Don't join fashionable 'schools of thought.' Read everything."
    By: Zadie Smith, her advice for young people
    Advice Quotes
  • "I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both."
    By: Soren Kierkegaard
    Advice Quotes
  • "Dance like no one is watching, love like you'll never be hurt,sing like no one is listening,and live like it's heaven on earth."
    By: William Purkey
    Advice Quotes
  • "Virtue depends partly upon training and partly upon practice; you must learn first, and then strengthen your learning by action. If this be true, not only do the doctrines of wisdom help us but the precepts also, which check and banish our emotions by a sort of official decree."
    By: Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Seneca the Younger)
    Advice Quotes
  • "I always advise people never to give advice."
    By: P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
    Advice Quotes
  • "LORD GORING: I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some good advice. MRS. CHEVELEY: Oh! pray don't. One should never give a woman anything that she can't wear in the evening."
    By: Oscar Wilde
    Advice Quotes
  • "LORD GORING: My father told me to go to bed an hour ago. I don't see why I shouldn't give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."
    By: Oscar Wilde
    Advice Quotes
  • "When a pile of cups is tottering on the edge of the table and you warn that they will crash to the ground, in South Africa you are blamed when that happens."
    By: Desmond Tutu
    Advice Quotes
  • "No one wants advice--only corroboration."
    By: John Steinbeck
    Advice Quotes
  • "The answer is in thy heart. Thee can always hear it, if thee listens for it.”"
    By: Elizabeth George Speare
    Advice Quotes
  • "No enemy is worse than bad advice."
    By: Sophocles
    Advice Quotes

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  • "If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
    By: Steven Wright.
    Funny Quotes
  • "Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?"
    By: Bart Simpson
    Funny Quotes
  • "If they can send one man to the moon why can't they send them all?"
    By: Amy
    Funny Quotes
  • "If your left leg was easter, and your right leg was christmas, would i be able to meet you inbetween the holidays?"
    By: Josh Longden
    Funny Quotes
  • "Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree"
    By: Lisa Bryant
    Funny Quotes
  • "I believe in dragons, fairies, good men and other mythical creatures!"
    By: Anon
    Funny Quotes
  • "You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."
    By: Rowan Atkinson
    Funny Quotes
  • "What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football."
    By: Stuart Hall, (radio 5 live commentator)
    Funny Quotes

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