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Two great European narcotics,
alcohol and Christianity.
I fell sorry for people who don't
drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as
they're going to feel all day.
May what goes down no
come back up again
It was a woman who drove
me to drink and I never got
the chance to thank her.
An alcoholic is someone
you don't like who drinks
as much as you do
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which
we endure the operation of life.
Drunkenness is temporary
suicide: the happiness that it
brings is merely negative, a
momentary
cessation of unhappiness
Beer is living proof that
God loves us and
wants us to be happy.
Let us have wine and women,
mirth and laughter. Sermons
and soda water the day after
Always do sober what you
said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.