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I dislike modern memoirs. They are generally written by people who have either entirely lost their memories or have never done anything worth remembering.

Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as "Call Me God") to KCMG ("Kindly Call Me God") to GCMG ("God Calls Me God").

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it.

I am being frank about myself in this book. I tell of my first mistake on page .

Autobiography is a preemptive strike against biographers.

Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.

It is long ere we discover how rich we are. ur history, we are sure, is quite tame: we have nothing to write, nothing to infer. But our wiser years still run back to the despised recollections of childhood, and always we are fishing up some wonderful article out of that pond; until, by and by, we begin to suspect that the biography of the one foolish person we know is, in reality, nothing less than the miniature paraphrase of the hundred volumes of the Universal History.

Anyone who attempts to relate his life loses himself in the immediate. ne can only speak of another.

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he hoped to make it.

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.