Search results for:

Time is a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond.

My love is like a cabbage, divided into two, The leaves I give to others but the heart I give to you.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

My house was clean last week.Sorry you missed it.

The quest for beauty is a quest for love.

My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.

The priest is repairing the church fence. A boy is standing nearby for a long while. The priest asks him: Do you want to speak with me, my son? No, I'm just waiting. Waiting for what? Wanna know what a priest says when he hits his finger with a hammer..

My five-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, Whatever my Mom tells him to..

The preacher was growing concerned about sparse attendance, so he published this item in the church bulletin: This . . . is . . . the . . . way . . . the . . . church . . . sometimes . . . looks . . . to . . . the . . . preacher . . . when . . . he . . . goes . . . into . . . the . . . pulpit. Itwouldlooklikethisifeverybodybroughtsomebodyelsetochurch.