Search results for:

Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.But you are not wearing any of those things. I know, said Mrs. Squiffy. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry..

The past is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

The optimist says, My cup runneth over, what a blessing. The pessimist says, My cup runneth over, what a mess..

Mother: Why are you home from school so early? Son: I was the only one who could answer a question. Mother: Oh, really? What was the question? Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?.

The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. You cannot hate someone you don't care about.

Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.

The only thing you have to do is breathe; Everything else is just optional.

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

The only thing worse than an ignorant man is an ignorant man with a bible.

Mosquitoes are a great moral force; it forces mankind to wear more clothes that modesty.

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.