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The meaning of life is not a question to be answered, but an event to be experienced.

That which you cannot give away, you don't possess; it possesses you.

The math teacher saw that Little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? Johnny quickly replied: CBS, NBC, HBO and the Cartoon Network..

Teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing exactly alike.

The love of parents for their child is measured by the length they will go to compete with the world for the love of that child.

No happy time is really gone, if it leaves a special memory.

The Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.

Never stand between a dog and a tree.

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick. The grandmother was curious. What trick is that my dear, she asked. The little boy replied, I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again..

Need some time to be alone, try washing the dishes!

The lesson is what you read in the fine print. The experience is what you get when you don't.