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You are here: MaxAbout.com > Quotes Collection Section Shortcut: quotes.maxabout.com
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Funny Quotes
- "I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "My brain, that's my second favourite organ."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows."
By: ^Woody Allen Funny Quotes
- "My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."
By: ^Groucho Marx Funny Quotes
- "I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
By: ^Groucho Marx Funny Quotes
- "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
By: ^Groucho Marx Funny Quotes
- "I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
By: ^Groucho Marx Funny Quotes
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New QuotesRecently Added
- "Wild is the music of autumnal winds the faded woods."
By: William Wordsworth Autumn Quotes
- "We lack but open eye and ear
To find the Orient's marvels here;
The still small voice in autumn's hush,
Yon maple wood the burning bush."
By: John Greenleaf Whittier,
Chapel of the Hermits Autumn Quotes
- "The tints of autumn--a mighty flower garden, blossoming under the spell of the enchanter, Frost."
By: John Greenleaf Whittier Autumn Quotes
- "Autumn, in his leafless bowers, is waiting for the winter's snow."
By: John Greenleaf Whittier Autumn Quotes
- "Autumn's earliest frost had given
To the woods below
Hues of beauty, such as heaven
Lendeth to its bow;
And the soft breeze from the west
Scarcely broke their dreamy rest."
By: John Greenleaf Whittier Autumn Quotes
- "When summer gathers up her robes of glory, and like a dream of beauty glides away."
By: Mrs. Sarah Helen Power Whitman Autumn Quotes
- "Crown'd with the sickle and the wheaten sheaf,
While Autumn, nodding o'er the yellow plain,
Comes jovial on."
By: James Thomson (1), Seasons--Autumn (l. 1) Autumn Quotes
- "The pale descending year, yet pleasing still,. a gentler mood inspires; for now the leaf incessant rustles from the mournful grove, oft startling such as studious, walk below, and slowly circles through the waving air."
By: James Thomson (1) Autumn Quotes
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