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I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Lisa, Vampires are make.believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important.

If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.

If toast always lands butter.side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?.

You're about as useful as a one, legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

What's another word for thesaurus?.