Funny Quotes

"The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the Four F's: 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating."
By: ^Psychology professor
Funny Quotes
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off."
By: ^Unknown
Funny Quotes
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."
By: ^Woody Allen
Funny Quotes
"Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years."
By: ^Unknown
Funny Quotes
"God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
By: ^Anonymous
Funny Quotes
"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
By: ^Warren Farrell
Funny Quotes
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
By: ^Jerry Seinfeld
Funny Quotes
"A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times."
By: ^Sanskrit proverb
Funny Quotes
"Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you."
By: ^Mrs. Patrick Campbell
Funny Quotes
"Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place."
By: ^ Billy Crystal.
Funny Quotes
"When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."
By: ^Frederick Ryder
Funny Quotes
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
By: ^Ernest Bevin
Funny Quotes
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
By: ^General William Westmoreland
Funny Quotes
"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody."
By: ^Richard M. Nixon
Funny Quotes
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackss, and I'm just the one to do it."
By: ^Unknown
Funny Quotes
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"
By: ^Charles De Gaulle
Funny Quotes

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"Now what sort of man or woman or monster would stroke a centipede I have ever seen? ''And here is my good big centipede!'' If such a man exists, I say kill him without more ado. He is a traitor to the human race."
By: William S. Burroughs
Women Quotes

"Admittedly, a homosexual can be conditioned to react sexually to a woman, or to an old boot for that matter. In fact, both homo - and heterosexual experimental subjects have been conditioned to react sexually to an old boot, and you can save a lot of money that way."
By: William S. Burroughs
Women Quotes

"A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold."
By: Julie Burchill
Women Quotes

"Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each."
By: Plato Greek philosopher (427 BC - 347 BC)
Child Quotes

"At great periods you have always felt, deep within you, the temptation to commit suicide. You gave yourself to it, breached your own defenses. You were a child. The idea of suicide was a protest against life; by dying, you would escape this longing for death."
By: Cesare Pavese
Child Quotes

"It was no great tragedy being Judy Garland's daughter. I had tremendously interesting childhood years - except they had little to do with being a child."
By: Liza Minnelli
Child Quotes

"A child is beset with long traditions. And his infancy is so old, so old, that the mere adding of years in the life to follow will not seem to throw it further back - it is already so far."
By: Alice Meynell
Child Quotes

"Giving a camera to Diane Arbus is like putting a live grenade in the hands of a child."
By: Norman Mailer
Child Quotes

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