Funny Quotes

• "Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?"
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?"
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "Why is a woman in a suit a "business person” but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?"
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?"
  By: ^Unknown
  Funny Quotes
• "A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
  By: ^Bill Cosby
  Funny Quotes
• "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope."
  By: ^Bill Cosby
  Funny Quotes
• "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
  By: ^Bill Cosby
  Funny Quotes
• "My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!"
  By: ^Bill Cosby
  Funny Quotes
• "I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave it up. They have no holidays."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes
• "Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room."
  By: ^Henry Youngman
  Funny Quotes