Funny Quotes

• "We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waitz is 80 seconds behind."
  By: ^David Coleman
  Funny Quotes
• "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
  By: ^David Coleman
  Funny Quotes
• "A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick."
  By: ^Ogden Nash
  Funny Quotes
• "If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."
  By: ^Ogden Nash
  Funny Quotes
• "A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick."
  By: ^Ogden Nash
  Funny Quotes
• "The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a Cat."
  By: ^Ogden Nash
  Funny Quotes
• "Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out."
  By: ^Joey Adams
  Funny Quotes
• "The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards."
  By: ^Billy Connolly
  Funny Quotes
• "There are two seasons in Scotland - June and Winter."
  By: ^Billy Connolly
  Funny Quotes
• "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes."
  By: ^Billy Connolly
  Funny Quotes