Funny Quotes
If the people of New Zealand want to be a part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands and push them closer.
Any man who can see through a woman is missing a lot.
When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
I’m asking for your vote. For those of you for me, thanks for your help. For those of you for my opponent, please only vote once.
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV’s all over the world.
Color television? Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white.
If you lend someone an ear, don’t expect to be repaid with interest.
s -- the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
s; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also
Selected as the most confusing public statement of 2003 by Britain's Plain English Campaign:
Reports that say something hasn’t happened are interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there things we know we know. We also know there are known
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?
The truth is a precious commodity. That’s why I use it so sparingly.