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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names — hers and her mother’s.
Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.
These days the meaning of “a faithful husband” is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.
A successful man is one who makes more money than a wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Home sweet home” must surely have been written by a bachelor.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Remarriage: a triumph of hope over experience.
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.