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- "You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."
By: Rowan Atkinson
Funny Quotes
- "What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football."
By: Stuart Hall, (radio 5 live commentator)
Funny Quotes
- "If at first you don't suceed, pull your foreskin over your head (pronounced heed)"
By: Old Scottish parable
Funny Quotes
- "He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time."
By: Richie Benaud (cricket commentator)
Funny Quotes
- "Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country."
By: Ian Rush
Funny Quotes
- "I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted."
By: George Best
Funny Quotes
- "Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing"
By: Bernard Malamud
Write Quotes
- "I write about five thousand words a day, when working on a book, about three thousand a day if I'm writing a short story. I take long periods off between projects, when I read a lot, garden, and think about the next book or stories."
By: Eric Brown
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