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If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent him.

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

I took thought, and invented what I conceived to be the appropriate title of `agnostic'.

I once asked a Jesuit priest what was the best short prayer he knew. He said, 'Fuck it,' as in 'Fuck it; it's in God's hands.'

I know that Islam - by far the most stupid, false and obfuscating of all religions - currently seems to be gaining ground, but it's a transitory and superficial phenomenon: in the long term, Islam is even more doomed than Christianity.

I have never doubted that religious phenomena are only to be understood on the pattern of the individual neurotic symptoms familiar to us.

I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.

I had a kind of revelation in the Sinai desert, where Moses received the Ten Commandments. Suddenly I experienced a total rejection of monotheism. In this very rocky, inspiring land, I said to myself that the idea of believing in only one God was cretinous. I could not think of another word. And the stupidest religion of all is Islam. When one reads the Koran one is devastated, devastated. At least the Bible is very beautiful because the Jews have a sacred literary talent which can excuse a lot of things.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to get me.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.